Night 30: Bored On The 4th Of July
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

Thrillbilly and Toofpick jumping across Devil's Den to perform a mid air Hi-Five in honor of the hostel.
Sunday 7-4-2010
0 Miles Hiked, 1932.7 Miles To Springer
It was the Fourth of July and Nightcrawler was making banana nut pancakes and scrambled eggs. The VA brothers, Mt. Goat, and I all had breakfast to celebrate.
The pancakes tasted almost like eating giant soft ginger bread cookies with a hint of banana and filled with crunchy flavorful walnuts. I devoured the three pancakes on my plate and gulped down the coffee that I’d made milky in color with creamer.
Thrillbilly and Toofpick were planning to head back to the trail today but only had a few miles of hiking to get to the shelter they were aiming towards. They were hoping to find an overlook to watch the fireworks from cities down below.
It wad another scorcher. Caretaker suggested that we all head to Devil’s Den to cool down, relax and enjoy the holiday. Since the brothers weren’t in a rush to get to the trail they decided to join us.
There were too many of us to take the four wheelers so we all piled into Caretaker’s car. I sat up front with Caretaker, Mt. Goat, and Lou Dog. Thrillbilly and Toofpick laid on the mattress in the truck bed and by way of car it was only a five minute drive.
The gap and swimming hole were empty, we were the only people there and there weren’t any other cars or fourwheelers when we pulled up. I decided on the car ride I wasn’t going to jump today. I remembered how cold the water was and was just along for the ride and a chance to get out of the RV.
With the car parked we all walked toward the jumping spot. Caretaker didn’t waste any time and was completely naked within our first two minutes there. Mt. Goat followed suit and the brothers opted to keep their Umbro shorts on.
I walked away from the gap to pee, one, because I had to and two, because I was looking for a reason to not have to see Mt. Goat’s and Caretaker’s naked bodies running and airborne as they launched into the air above the gap.
When I returned from the woods Caretaker and Mt. Goat were both swimming in the gap. Just as they started climbing up the rock face of the canyon, still bare naked, two overweight men wearing trucker hats walked up to where we were.
Caretaker was climbing up the side of the canyon his clothes were on and quickly grabbed his clothes and got dressed. Mt. Goat was unfortunately halfway up the other side of the canyon when the two men arrived, halfway up the side of the canton his clothes weren’t on. He had trouble getting up the rock face which was made more embarrassing by the fact that he was naked. People should know that almost no one looks good climbing up awkward rocks naked. Once he got to the top he jumped off back into the canyon and climbed up the other side where his clothes were and finally got dressed.
The obese men didn’t turn away or walk away. They just stood there and watched the whole thing play out. I was uncomfortable, but Mt. Goat was probably the most uncomfortable.
With Mt. Goat and Caretaker clothed and the obese men gone the Harrisonburg brothers seemed more comfortable and were ready to jump. Each of them jumped from the side you had to run from and then climbed back out.
“You guys should each get on one side, jump across and high five in the middle, I’ve never seen anyone do that.” Caretaker said.
Thrillbilly was reluctant but Toofpick convinced him to do it. They got to their respective sides ran forward jumped, missed the high five, but almost slammed heads and fell into the gap. Even though they missed each other it was still pretty awesome.
After their jump we loaded back into Caretakers car and I tried to erase the image of his large white ass from my mind.
When we got back to the hostel Toofpick was a little bummed because not only had he lost his toothpick in the tandem jump, he’d lost his Shaw’s baseball cap too.
“If it shows up I’ll send it to you.” Caretaker said. “Until then you can take this.” He says as he handed him his own baseball cap.
“That’s you’re favorite hat.” Nightcrawler said.
“I know but I’m sure it’ll make it’s way back to me once they finish the trail.” Caretaker said.
“I can’t take your favorite hat.” Toofpick said.
“Sure you can, I insist.” Caretaker said.
Toofpick reached out and took the hat humbled by Caretakers generosity. He and his brother grabbed their packs and headed down the road looking to hitch a ride back to the trail.
The rest of the day passed slowly. I went with Caretaker on a couple rides into town but didn’t end up buying anything. The day was completely uneventful and it didn’t seem like the fourth without my family and friends and without the usual neighborhood gathering.
That afternoon Nightcrawler made some awesome chili dogs with the left over moose chili she had and she poked my plate with tortilla chips. The chili dog put me a little more in the fourth spirit, but it still didn’t feel right.
I lazed away the time between lynch and dinner and just sat around the RV wishing I could either be home or back to hiking.
Caretaker came knocking on the RV door. “You want to go to the general store I need to stop in and pick up a few things for Nightcrawler.” He said.
“I’d live to come along. Are Mt. Goat and Loudog coming?” I asked.
Before he could answer I saw them getting in the front seat.
At the general store I bought a pint of moose tracks ice cream and put in the freezer to save for a post fourth dinner celebratory desert or maybe just as a post dinner depression medication.
Nightcrawler outdid herself again and made chicken kabobs, rice, and an fresh Mediterranean salad that I dosed with her homemade dressing that if she ever bottled and sold would make her rich, her dressing kicks Paul Neuman’s ass.
After dinner we all sat around the table and loosened our belts and Nightcrawler began preparing the surprise desert she was making. It was a strawberry shortcake.
“Caretaker, I need some strawberry cheesecake ice cream to go with the desert, it’s so much better with the cheesecake than the vanilla.” She said.
“Okay I can go to the store.” He said.
“How bout You guys relax and I’ll go get it.” I said.
“Oh, thanksTiny Tim.” Nightcrawler said.
Nightcrawler put the shortcake mix in the oven and Mt. Goat and I headed back to the RV.
“I’ll bring you guys out some when it’s done.” Nightcrawler said.
As has become my nightly routine with whatever hikers are there for the night we opened up the RV laptop and pulled up netflix.
“How bout you choose tonights movie.” I said to Mt. Goat.
“Sweet.” He said.
“They’ve got fucking Dreamscape. I’ve been meaning to see that movie for so long, we gotta watch it.” He said.
“What’s Dreamscape?” I asked.
“It’s a movie that was made in the eighties starring Dennis Quaid. He’s like a psychic or some shit who can go into peoples dreams, it looks mad cool.” He said.
About ten minutes into the movie I realized is was neither mad cool and not even remotely good. It may have been the worst movie I’d ever seen and I didn’t have to tell Mt. Goat that, he readily admitted it was a bad choice.
The only thing redeeming the whole movie experience was Nightcrawler knocking on the door holding two giant bowls of strawberry shortcake covered in strawberry cheesecake ice cream.
Nightcrawler stuck around to finish her desert with us while the movie ended and she too acknowledged how bad it was. Mt. Goat felt but for what he put us all through.
Sarah called just as the movie was ending so I immediately jumped at the chance to get out of the RV to talk to her and away from the nightmare they was Dreamscape.
She told me about her fourth weekend at the beach and by the time we said goodnight the movie was over and Mt. Goat and Loudog were headed back to the big orange box.
I got back on the RV and thought only about how much I wanted to be out of Maine and back home in Virginia.
Rose – Strawberry shortcake.
Bud – Getting more healed.
Thorn – Seeing Caretaker naked and Dreamscape.
Tags: 1776, andover, appalachian trail, big orange box, conex, family crest, fireworks, fourth of july, independence day, july fourth, maine, rv, sprained ankle, tatoo, thru hiker, thru hiking, united states of america | Posted in Appalachian Trail | No Comments »

